This is one of a series of regular posts from my dear friend Randy. Check back every Monday for a fresh look at what has taken over Randy’s litter box of a brain that week. For more timely ramblings from him head straight to the source, @RMChase3.
Yo yo yo Randy here, taking a brief rest from whacking rats with a nail spiked bat to bring you today’s obsession. Have you heard about this texting thing? Of course you have quit being a jerk. All of the kids are doing it, so are my parents, old people have somehow figured out how to do it, and every once in a while I’ve been known to do it. It would seem however, as much as we first world people love our txt msgs businesses do not. One such business is the movie business. For what feels like decades they have been telling us not to interrupt their movies with our phone calls. So we all collectively followed their advice and took up to text messaging to never interrupt movies. So then the theaters were all “hey quit talking AND texting during our major motion pictures.” And I was all “ Dammit movies why do you keep taking away from me!? First talking, now you take my texts messages what’s next? You gonna take my phones? I THOUGHT I LIVED IN AMERICA NOT COMMUNIST RUSSIA!!”
I get it. Using the phone backlights the screen piercing the artificial night made by the theater Also some fools don’t turn off the ringer and hearing the first 14 seconds of “All the things she said” by TATU while I’m watching the Bratz movie is a mood killer. Unfortunately not everyone has the balls to kick obnoxious cellphone users out of their building like The Alamo Drafthouse. The good folks over at Cinemark realized this and came up with a great solution: The Cinemode App. Unlike most no text apps like the Drive Safely App that entirely prohibits you Cinemark still allows you the option. You download the app and when you go to a movie during the preshow entertainment the screen will tell you to activate “movie mode” (my term not theirs.) Once activated it dims your phones screen. It also rewards you for not texting or using your phone for the duration of the movie with reduced ticket and concession prices. Now for sad news it’s only for Cinemark theatres which means not everyone can be part of this revolution of not being an inconsiderate jerk. Which currently means even I dear reader have to take a trip to get in on this. So download this, then download moviepass, and then you’re going to have like, the best movie experience ever. But I’ve got to go smash me some more rats. I hope you enjoyed or if not GFY. Until next time
Go out. Go obsess